One day you need to completely remove yourself from something in order to see clearly, friendships included(even if it’s just for a minute). See yourself without that person for a few minutes today to honestly see if the situation is actually a friendship or just a situation. We all go through the stage where we want as many friends as possible. I’ve been noticing as I get older my list of friends is getting shorter.
First and foremost, everybody should not even be considered a friend. Friends don’t leave you hanging in a time of need, especially when you have been there for them through thick and thin. But that’s when the statement comes in: ‘Everybody doesn’t love like you do.’ Just because you love hard doesn’t mean the other person will, but you should be able to connect with someone that loves like you. Support your friends!
- a person who you like and enjoy being with
- a person who helps or supports someone or something
Friendships or relationships might not work because sometimes people grow apart from each other. The friends you had in high school might not be the same friends you have now more than likely you don’t have those same friendships. With growing up comes growing apart, maybe you went to college and he/she stayed behind. Hey, it’s happen. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Growing is great progress and you need it in life.
One person might be giving more than the other person. Find people that love like you do, give like you do, care like you do and actually understand like you do. One sided anything will not work out because one of the parties will be missing out on something. If you have a friendship that’s not helping you grow as a person, you might need to re-evaluate it. You should be growing in all ways of living life. Don’t get upset when you have to divorce yourself from someone. Don’t settle, friendships included.
Was It Really A Friendship?
Maybe just maybe it wasn’t a friendship. You could have been the scapegoat until he/she could use someone else. You don’t just give up on people that you love easily, especially if years are invested. Stop being the crutch, safe place, the backbone, etc. and start loving yourself.
Maybe the person is always negative. Never a positive comment no matter how excited you are about a situation but that person is always trying to bring you down. RUN! Really run because if he/she isn’t showing the same amount of excitement as you are about something, it’s definitely not an equal friendship. You can be all happy and excited to share information until you contact the one person you thought was/is your best friend and it’s shut down without even thinking twice. RUN! That is negative energy and life is already hard enough without someone sharing their negative vibe with you.
BUT WAIT! WHY DIDN’T HE/SHE LOVE ME?!?!
Because clearly you didn’t love yourself enough to see that all friendships aren’t meant to last a lifetime. People might only make an appearance for a season or two and then vanish, not quite vanish but you get the point. Maybe he/she didn’t love you because he/she didn’t love herself. Relationships are hard work and it takes more than one person to make it work.
When friendships that you think should be forever don’t work out, think about this (maybe it wasn’t a friendship at all, maybe just an associate). Everybody doesn’t make the cut and some didn’t come into 2016 with you either. Don’t be afraid to leave them behind because they already left you behind. If they cared so much they wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss, use and abuse you. Or maybe you wouldn’t be so quick to use, dismiss and abuse them whatever way the tree falls. When old friendships come a knocking yell, “NOT TODAY!” Don’t even think twice about it, especially if it was a toxic relationship. It’s like that old pair of shoes that you keep holding on to and the insoles are literally sitting on the outside of the shoe, your heart will literally be sitting outside of your body if you keep abusing it with negativity.
Have you lost any friends or people who you thought were your friends along the way? Please let me know if there are any things that you have noticed about your friendships, I would love to hear them.
Until next post!